All alone

I am sat in front of my computer. With the minutes ticking away before nap time is over. They are going to get up soon. Olivia has not been feeling well and I forced her to take a nap by promising a movie upon her waking up. Isabella is going to be screaming "MAMA MAMA MAMA" all to soon. The other day Olivia was complaining about needing alone time. " Mama, I need some alone time please keep Isabella out of my room." Alone time?  I asked. What is that? To which she replies "you know what it is you get it all the time." PAUSE. In my head I am seriously thinking when! when in the heck am I alone? BREATH. "Really, when do you think mama gets alone time Liv?" "Every night when we go to bed." ROCK TO HEAD! "Yes I suppose that would be correct my alone time is when you are in bed.

So what am I doing with all this "alone time"? What every other momma out there is doing I suppose..Cleaning! Hiding in a closet crying! 

The old saying of Time is passing us by seems so real to me today. The girls are getting older. Baby days are over. I feel like I am watching on the side. I am trying to relish in these days I have. I know all to fast they will be the days I want back at some point. I know there will come a time when the girls will have there own lives and be out and about. Im told by ones further down this road then I, that I will miss these days of No alone time. I will miss all the screaming and fighting. I will miss all the messiness. To these people I say NO I WONT! I WILL miss aspects of my life as a young mother. However, I will not miss the noise level that is off the charts. I will not miss the tugging and pulling. Just like I do not miss night time feeds and milk blisters. I don't miss baby food poops. I look forward to going to the bathroom with out two young faces starring at me and commenting on the smell! I look forward to the time that I can take a shower without the pointing fingers from behind the glass door. (Yes, I close the door but it doesn't stop the dynamic duo!)

Today I will choose to focus on the fact that Alone Time is not ME Time. In all honestly Alone Time hasn't been ME time since I had children. Children I prayed and Believed for! Reminding myself to take in all the crazy with all the lovely! Learning to rest. Rest in all that HE has gifted, trusted and equipped me to have.Being grateful and thankful at all times. The loud,squashed,filled to overflowing, crazy times! Here's to me. Growing up!